Southpark Tales

Southpark life. So typical if you don't mind me saying.

I awoke this morning with the intention of being a responsible job searching A-dult. Because you know, in this life, in this world, in the land of the "workaholics" there's nothing more than always being on your A-game. So here I am, fighting the urge to sleep in on my day off, put on my coolest work-out gear and whip up a cute side pony-braid and drove my ass to the nearest Starbucks.

*Enters Taj Majal Harris Teeter and takes of aviators*

Here we go people! What I call the epitome of Southpark Life. To my left, a slew of working professionals that appear to be in their up-most-best Lulu Lemon gear talking marketing analytics and numbers. Wait, are they even working today?? I roll my eyes and continue my way to await in line along with all the other Southparkianlites (what I call the elite of Southpark).

*Blue button up and khaki pants man cuts me off*

I think to myself, "just because you're most likely an investor working at Merrill Lynch, have a trophy life who's probably getting her yoga on as we speak, and golf on the weekends with your other so-called friends doesn't mean you can cut me off moron." But I stay silent and continue on with my judgmental observations. Did I mention I LOVE people watching?

So my turn comes along, "Grande skinny latte please." *takes out debit card* And I think to myself again, since WHEN did it become ok to pay $4 for a stupid cup of coffee that will most likely NOT get recycled. Don't even get me started on what $4 a day will do to your precious bank account at 23. So here I am with my $4 coffee drink, cute workout gear, side pony braid and I make my way to the small table in the corner by the entrance. To my right, a man and woman greet each other for the first time as the woman states, "I recognized you from your picture on Linkedin." At this point, I'm clueless as to whether or not it's a morning coffee date or a job interview as both clearly do not have weddings bands on. My curiosity ensues and they disappear. (Most likely, I predict, they've resorted to Linkedin as a mere professional love seeking site against cupid.com.)

*Enters couple numero dos and several other white collar men.* 

The woman this time is elegantly and proudbly wearing her matching St. Johns tweed shift dress and jacket, nude stockings and closed toe kitten heels. (Eww) To my knowledge and expertise-eavesdropping the man and woman are engaging in what sounds to be an intense business conversation. And then there's me, the non-working professional sitting in the corner on ther macbook pretending to fit into the comforties of Southparkian Life. And my life continues... *sips on $4 coffee*